Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
