she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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