Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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