I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
