Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
