I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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