That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
