If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
