From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
