Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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