im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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