mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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