I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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