if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
