Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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