I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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