exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
