Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
