Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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