I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize