The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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