Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
it's like iHOP with fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
NoShamevember. You game?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Randomize