That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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