i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He better not be in your backpack
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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