So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
