when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
