my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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