Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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