ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize