Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Dignity is for republicans.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
