Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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