But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
