It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
