Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
