where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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