The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize