Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i think im in europe. pls send help
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
