Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize