To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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