I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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