I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
