My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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