I feel great
I just peed on a car
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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