Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
