I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
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My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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