Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
