Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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