3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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