Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
