Pants 0. Shit 1.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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