remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
is wine microwaveable?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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