And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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