Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
