eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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