I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
it glows. i had to have it.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
