Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
