I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize