he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
