Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize